Updated: Feb 10, 2021
Relationship according to dictionary.com is “the way in which two or more people or things are connected or the state of being connected.” There are various levels and types of relationships which include family relationships, friendships, romantic relationships and acquaintanceships.
The major causes of stress in most relationships are linked to Communication, Respect, Boundaries, Key of Acceptance, and Trust. The state of these 5 main elements in your relationship determines the difference between being in a healthy or unhealthy relationship.
You should always ask yourself.......
What is the purpose of getting into this relationship?, What can I offer in this relationship?, Does this relationship benefit me? , Most especially is this a healthy or unhealthy relationship?, Is this relationship worth fighting for?
Our greatest desire as individuals is to be loved. Everyone needs someone to care and love them. We all deserve to be in a healthy, loving, and beneficial relationships, no matter the type and level of relationship we are in. Therefore, being in a right and healthy relationship is particularly important.
The survival of a healthy relationship is mostly based on the ability to communicate understandably with each other. This comes with the ability to exchange information clearly through speaking, writing, and other mediums of expression known to both parties. When communication is not clearly done, it leads to wrong signals such as deception, and false impression. To have a healthy relationship, you must be ready to communicate even when it is a difficult or uncomfortable topic and be honest about it. The moment you stop communicating, the relationship begins to die, therefore communicate no matter the situation!
I Corinthians 15:33(KJV) -“Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners”.
Respect is reciprocal…....
There are many aspects of a relationship that needs to be respected. It is important to understand that everyone has his or her own opinion even if you do not agree, and they can change their mind when they wish. Your role is to be considerate and respect their wishes and not impose yours.
Romans 13:7 (KJV)- Give honour to who honour is due”
Exodus 20:12(KJV)- Obey thy father and mother so thy days may be long”
The Christian faith teaches and encourages us to honour and obey our parents. We can only do this easily by developing a better and healthy relationship with them, which starts with respect. Living long is a reward you receive by honouring and obeying your parents and a sign of good health. Therefore, respect in all types of relationships results in a healthy and stress-less one.
From the start of a relationship, a clear understanding of boundaries should be established. Be mindful of people’s feelings.
There are spoken and unspoken boundaries in most relationships, and it is important to speak up instead of being offended when you feel your boundaries have been crossed. Do not assume the other person understands these boundaries, but rather speak up to keep your relationship healthy and lasting. For example, your boss might break your boundaries by coming to your house without your permission depending on the kind of relationship you both have. However, your boss might have some level of right to enter your office without your permission. Same as our relationship with our parents. There is an age bracket in a child’s life when the parents can enter their rooms whenever they please and there will come a time and age where parents would have to knock to enter their children’s room. Boundaries are to be defined and respected to have a healthy relationship.
There is a popular saying that goes like this ……. “the one thing which attracted you to a person will also be the same thing that will annoy you the most”. Therefore, accepting a person as they are, is crucial although, people do and can change for the better when they receive the right support and encouragement. Sow a good seed of love and be hopeful for change and not enforce change. You knew how they were when you met them, but just because it is now affecting what and how you want things to be, you portray them as the problem. Unfortunately, you are rather the problem, as you have refused to accept them for who they are. You are encouraged to rather help them in love to be a better version of themselves without imposing yourself on them.
Trust helps us to build a better and higher level of confidence in our various relationships. This is left to the last because without trust you cannot build the above key aspect of a relationship.
……Having a healthy relationship is not defined by knowing each other’s passcodes...... 😄.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (KJV)- "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."
Never just lean on your own perception of a person. Rather, be observant and take your time to trust and most importantly, talk with them to know the truth in their hearts. A person’s action does not always reflect what is in their hearts and vice versa. Give them a chance to explain themselves and then make your judgement.
Yes, people are deceptive and will betray you. Do not let that define you, rather learn and be wise. Strive to be a better person and let us spread goodness in the world to make it a better place. Trust is earned and not automated. Therefore, work to build trust in your relationship.
Strive for a stress-less relationship!
Student, Msc in Psychology